This economy is tough; really tough. Its realities have forced me to reevaluate how I spend my spare time, and how I will spend it in light of necessity's further encroachment upon it. During that evaluation, it became clear that the way in which I spend that spare time could be summarized in two major categories: creative pursuits, and those of advocacy. It seemed the choices which lay before me were: stop doing both, spend equally less time doing both, or drop one and focus on the other.
Having ruled out abstinence as unthinkable and rash, I examined the second option: do less of each. No matter how I diced it, it seemed this option would inevitably point to mediocrity in both areas (if we can assume I'm not already there!). So I realized to be happiest and still proud of what I output, I'd need to decide on one or the other.
I'll not kid you: three years of advocacy has drained me, with the Expo event perhaps being the coup de grâce. At times it has been very fulfilling, but I'll confess that in the economy of emotional drain vs. emotional fulfillment, I've been running on a deficit for quite a while. Being in that position has put me - rather against my will - smack dab in the middle of every factional dispute and pointless argument that has gone on in this community, where no step is not a misstep. And half the time I'm left wondering if my presence / efforts have made things better or worse. Don't get me wrong, there have been a lot of times when doing that kind of gig was great fun. There have been others where it's felt like a complete waste of time.
Maybe I'm not built right for that kind of role, at least in a long term sense. When hardly anyone comments on a podcast episode, I get discouraged. When someone says they'll show up to a conference - month after month after month - and never does, I take it personally, all the while knowing I shouldn't. When someone says the events I help organize are actually harmful environments rather than helpful, I want to go crawl in a hole. I'm starting to think that a person who is going to be putting themselves out there in social contexts damn well better be equipped to handle what comes with social contexts, the good and the bad. That has never been my strong suit.
Contrast that with how I feel about my filmmaking and music... where I get genuinely enthused by even the most negative comments because I cherish a response of any kind, where I could care less if I get five viewers or five million because the FILM is a thing in itself that I love like a pet or even a child regardless of its acceptance level in the world. I don't get tired the more films / music I make, rather it's some kind of weird perpetual motion machine wherein energy is actually created instead of consumed. The more I do, the more I want to do.
So it will come as no surprise that my decision is to focus on creative pursuits: making films, making music. And I've decided to discontinue the advocacy activities, driven in part by necessity of time but also because I just don't enjoy them nearly as much anymore. Selfish? Perhaps. Healthy? Yeah, probably. Necessary? Absolutely.
The Overcast podcast, after a three year run, will come to an end as of the end of this month. Two more shows are already in queue awaiting a mixdown, and a third and final episode will be recorded by Ricky and I soon. It's been a fun ride, truly hilarious at times, particularly in these past several months with Ricky as my co-host. Thank you so much, Ricky! And thank you to everyone who supported the show with your listens and comments. We weren't kidding; your feedback really did fuel us. The archives will stay online forever, or at least until some radical change to the way the internet works (i.e. net neutrality on steroids) forces me to take them down. But as long as I am able, the show's episodes will remain available for download and listening just as they are now.
The monthly audio conferences, originally started up by Peter Rasmussen and myself, will discontinue effective immediately. After running for a little over a year, I think they have served their purpose. I don't think all the potential for these online meetings has been tapped, however. And it is my earnest hope that someone (*cough* TMUnderground! *cough*) will organize their own virtual functions and events, with a fresh approach and renewed energy.
I will be vacating my land in Second Life when my lease is up near the end of this month. I can't afford the expense any more, and I've got neither the time nor the talent to turn a working SL profit for a parcel that size, nor even to fully develop the facilities there into something cohesive and attractive for visitors. I will NOT be abandoning my avatar, and I still have a film in production in SL which - as soon as I can get the stinking custom animations finished - I'll be filming and releasing. And I have further plans for films using Second Life, I just won't be a landowner any more.
So that's it as far as discontinued items go. I will continue blogging here for a long long time (love doing it), I'll continue to host my forum (and probably up my participation in there a bit), MachiniFeed will continue (it's easy to run and very useful to people, I'm told), and I will continue to assist Ricky and Machiniplex with its premieres, encoding, etc.
I guess that's it. Back to work on my next film. :)
Comments
It's obviously too late now, but in light of your decision, let me say that I have very much enjoyed your podcasts over the last months (not sure how long I've been downloading them... maybe 9+?) and it will be very sad when no more pop up to grab.
They were very informative and entertaining. And I learned a lot about the machinima community that I wouldn't have know otherwise (living in my old TMO hole as I did.)
Maybe if enough of us speak up, you'll reconsider?
Phil Browne.
Yea, I love your podcasts very much, and now I am shame for not commenting more.
Things is, I hardly do any social things when I am working on the movie; something like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde thing, can't do more with half cooked brain in middle of the movie.
Your conference is another thing, my poor English stopped me to join every time I wanted to.
But be sure, Phil, I am looking, tracking and enjoying every step you do all the time, your efforts are only things that keeping me close to the Machinima in general.
Most of other joy of being part of Machinima world are gone, I am not even publish movies for all to watch (mayor thing year or two ago), I reduced all contacts to very few people I care for, last Machinma NY festival was last I sent movie on (sending to other festivals now and not in Machinima section)...
...What I want to say, for me - now, more then ever - Machinima IS you.
But you are the author first, and if you will have more energy for movies and music, then great.
Good decisions, Phil.
Phil,
You are the best. And I consider myself and Kate in a rare position to consider you a friend.
Your work for Machinima has been fantastic and I suspect this change is only for the good. Film making is a hard mistress and requires much time and attention. So I for one am happy, if you had to make a decision, the choices you made have been the ones you have outlined. I believe that through your artistic work, the knowledge gained and the ideas revealed will stimulate more advocacy for Machinima.
I look forward to seeing a lot more of your work in the future. And I suspect that we as a community may even hear more of your wisdom or thoughts now that you are freeing yourself of the work of administrating of the other tasks.
Thank you for all you have given Machinima and the community, it is a better place because of your efforts.
-Mike Joyce
Phil, I admire your decision making process, it is of course right to choose those things which will most enhance your life.
However, something in me believes that you are a natural broadcaster, and this comes out in the podcasts. I wonder if this is one area where taking a break might be a more satisfying answer, especially if that means coming back to those shows with fresh enthusiasm once immediate time demands are more settled?
You know yourself that the number of comments on any piece of work is a very small reflection of the number of listeners who value a product. I suspect the Overcast would be missed more than you may realise (and not just by your listeners!)
Thanks for all the work you have done to date, Phil, you have created a tome in the great machinima library. You musings have been a big help and influence on my own development and for that I thank you, sincerely. It was a couple of years ago that I ventured cautiously into this wider machinima community when I set off on a long car journey from Scotland to the 2007 Festival in Cambridge. My preparation for meeting all these strange people was to download your archive of podcasts and have a mega listening session for the long drive. It was a real eye opener :)
Now, with this help, attending real conferences, your audio conferences, machinexpo (and the OMFF as well, btw) I am very pleased to have met so many other filmmakers and fellow enthusiasts.
I think you can safely say you've served your term.
Best of luck now and enjoy making more magical movies! We'll enjoy watching them :)
Your efforts have helped MANY of us branch out from our own isolated communities and endeavors to see the big picture that is machinima. Thank you for your substantial contributions and support - and don't think you're getting rid of us that easily!!
Phil,
I will miss the Overcast. It's always been a treat of multimedia goodness, and it will be missed. I completely understand your decision, and I hope you make all the movies and music you can.
Glad to know you'll still be blogging. I will follow you in that space.
Thanks for the many fantastic episodes of the Overcast.
Mitch
Da ja'vu !
You've done a ton for the movement, Phil. I personally owe you big time! I wish I had been more active lately. You make me feel like a lazy so-and-so, but priorities are a bitch most days.
Just remember, in life there is always at least one moment when we must choose to pare down our list of loves, each for its own sake. Just be happy you have so many things you love to do. The opposite is too nightmarish to contemplate.
Damn that sux!
Phil, you've done so much for community and I know I'm not alone when I say that I really appreciated all the time and effort you put into promoting machinima and creating a sense of community. I totally understand your decision but I will definitely miss the Overcasts and SL talks (even though I had to miss the last few). They always provoked excellent discussions. The Overcast was actually one of my first introductions to the world of machinima. When I was researching machinima as a summer job for a film festival I listened to many of your Overcasts to get an idea of what was going on in the community. Your work and dedication has always been an inspiration to me and I look forward to seeing many more films from you!
Your online moniker truly reflects all of the work you do, Phil. I've enjoyed listening to the Overcast this past year or two. Ricky's acting episodes, the Digital Phil April Fool's Day show, and the how to get into the video game industry show were some of my favorites. I've been too busy with college and my own pursuits lately to keep up. In retrospect, I really, really wish I would have attended a conference. I never felt like I would have had much to contribute, but looking back I think there was a lot that I could have learned from attending.
Your decision is by no mean's selfish, and anyone who would disagree is selfish themselves. You're not obligated to do anything, but what you have done has helped this community. And like Mike, Tom, and Nefarious Guy alluded to, you have helped keep this community remain community.
I know what you mean about movies and how the more you do, the more you want to do. I think I've lost sight of that going into film has a major (a paradox if there ever was one). I want you to know that MRE along with Only inspired me and helped contribute to my decision to go into film. I know I've said that before to you, but it's a big deal to me.
This blog is one of only a handful of sites I frequent daily. I look forward to seeing what you do next. Thanks for all you've done, man.
Add my voice to the chorus of kudos, Phil. You have been, and remain, a personal inspiration to me, and I hope that being able to channel more of your time and energy into the more enjoyable side of your pursuits is as rewarding and fulfilling as you deserve.
Phil, I'll miss the Overcast. You & Ricky made a great team, and I always enjoyed listening to you. You've been a huge inspiration to me since I first started this machinima thing, and I don't think I'd be doing what I am if it hadn't been for you and your tireless advocacy of the medium. But I completely understand your decision. There just ain't time for doing everything. I spend too many hours making Moviestorm, and not nearly enough time making use of it, so I completely sympathise. I always wondered how the hell you had time to do everything you did. And, lest anyone forget, you have a wonderful family too, and spending time with them is important - there's life outside machinima!
I look forward to watching your movies - whatever tools or engines they're made with - and I'm sure they will continue to inspire other film-makers to do the same.
Phil,
Thanks for all that you have done for the advancement of machinima- you are truly a great advocate and will continue to be with your movies. I don't blame you for getting tired of dealing with the negatives of advocacy-- it's taxing. I've always thought you did 'too' much so I hope you can find more time for yourself and are able to deal with more pressing 'real' life issues. Thank goodness you're not retiring from machinima though. At that, I'd create an uproar. ;)
I have to join in with those who are sad to have read this news. I feel like I owe you a personal Mea Culpa. I've been a loyal lurker/listener to the podcast for about 2 years and I enjoy it immensely. I tend to listen to it via my iPod while performing
some of my more mundane activities such as mowing the lawn or some other household chore. Unfortunately, though my intentions were good on more then one occasion when I intended to get to the podcast blog and comment I failed to do so.
I started making movies with The Movies and stumbled upon the Overcast during a visit to the Machinima.com site and it expanded my knowledge of the greater Machinima universe. I always found it informative and enjoyable and as someone else already mentioned, Phil, you are a great radio host, even while doing the show solo. Still, the addition of Ricky to the Broadcast (who is also excellent) and the repartee between the two of you added another level to the entertainment value.
It's a shame you had to deal with what sounds like sniping and other negative energy. I've been involved in community based activities and it's sad to say that when you put yourself out there, there are always going to be those sitting back doing much less that make you a target. I can't imagine in my wildest dreams how anyone could make the case that your efforts were harmful to the community.
I am going to remember a lot from this show and am sure to go back and listen to various episodes. The recent show on sound recording was excellent but I also remember an earlier show on the topic that inspired me to take steps to improve the quality of my sound recording which was something I had totally neglected at that point. There were some other memorable shows including the 3 Machinimafest recordings where you and Ricky were together in person recording the show. I really liked in particular the diner based show and it had a flavor of eavesdropping on someone's really interesting conversation. On the basis of pure hilarity I don't think you could top the "FU" song to the AnimationFest(?) organizer that bailed out on you, Ricky, and Ingrid. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I also recall a very poignant show after you returned from a prolonged recording absence and related the story of your friend, who was battling cancer. That one really touched home as I had a friend who was undergoing a similar crisis.
I can understand the difficult choice you had to make. Sometimes you have to look out for yourself. The struggle to balance real life with other pursuits is one we all fight and I always wondered how you found the time to accomplish all that you did, because it was pretty amazing. You will be leaving a big void that will be difficult if not impossible to fill. Good luck with all your future creative pursuits.
Mowing the lawn is going to suck even more now :-)
There is the urge to say, say it ain't so.
But, I understand.
Oh man, I can't express fully how much I enjoyed listening to 'The Overcast' since it's start. This was excellent work and helped us machimima filmmakers a lot. Very informative, well crafted and a joy to listen to. Having those monthly conferences in SL helped me a lot to feel less remote and it was great to have such a place to meet and keep in touch.
Sure I miss them as well. On the other hand your arguments are easy to follow and I'm sure you made the right decision. You have done so much excellent work of advocacy for the machinima community and for sure will continue with what you are planning.
Now maybe is time and place for other talents to jump in and take over. You've set a high mark for them, but they shoudln't be scared. I wish you good luck and success with your movie and music projects.
Sounds like it was a very, very tough decision-making process. I don't envy you.
Thanks very much for all the work you've done over the past few years - Overcast, audio conferences, festivals and all.
I'm with Kate and her entire post. Also, I want to cry a little. And I, like many have already stated here, owe you a shit-load, Phil.
You. Are. Machinima.
*runs off crying like a little girl.*
Standing ovation for you, Phil. I know this was not an easy decision, since you enjoy promoting machinima and sharing your ideas/techniques so much. I personally want to thank you for asking me to work with you on the last year of the Overcast. It's been a remarkable experience. Cheers me to see so much support here in the comments. You deserve it.
Unfortunately I discovered the Overcast very late - like Biggstrek, I lived in the old TMO hole for a long time - but the shows I listened to, I enjoyed immensely! You are the the one who opened my eyes for the bigger picture that is Machinima - thank you very much for that!
I also enjoyed (and learned a lot) watching your "How to" videos, and I'm sad now that I was never able to attend to the SL conferences.
On the other hand, following your activities for only this short amount of time, I always wondered how you did find the time for everything you did, and I fully understand your wish to put the limited free time you have into your creative pursuits.
I'm looking forward to see more movies by you, and listen to more of your music! :)
Phil, thank you for all that you do; you're an inspiration. Sharing your thoughts about how you worked through your decision... it really helps the rest of us. Strength, time, creativity & some freedom.. wishing you the best. Peace.
Phil.. It has been said by many for a long time now, that all the different communities ie. Sims, WoW, SL, Halo, and others- have been long divided and a hindrance for Machinima as a whole. You, above everyone else, tried to bring everyone together with that one shared thread we all cling so tightly too. Your will to provide advocacy for machinima directors, your determination to prod forth even with a seemingly tiny army behind you, your courage to make us laugh outright while encouraging us to fight for proper EULA's, creative commons, and artistic endeavors will not be forgotten.
I can understand how overwhelming this has been for you.You've accomplished much my friend, and while I am sad that I never really got the time to listen to your podcast faithfully, I always enjoyed it. On the flipside though, I'm completely psyched that you'll be able to put more of your time and energies into the creative heart of what you've been fighting for all along. I can't wait to see what you'll come up with after having some time to relax with less strain and deadline- nothing short of amazing I am certain!
Thank you Phil.. for everything.
PS: Send me a notecard about those animations Phil. I'll make them for you- its the least I can do in return for all the support and words and wisdom you've offered me over the years.
even though i wanted to made a comment, i waited a little while to do after reading this post. on the one hand, i certainly can understand many of the sentiments Phil's expressed; on the other, i am quite sad to see an end to this era.
when i started as Moviestorm's Chief Blogger and Community Manager back in 2007, i was definitely at a bit of a disadvantage not knowing that much about machinima, my background being live action production. one of the ways i 'crash-course-d' myself was by downloading the back archives of The Overcast. they were illuminating, educational and entertaining by turns.
i was also very honoured to meet Phil and Ricky in person last November when we were all in New York for AMAS. they were warm and welcoming, and introduced me around. i was also very honoured to have my interview with Sam Midwood be the very first video podcast featured on The Overcast.
in terms of file storage, maybe the podcasts can eventually go live in the Internet Archives.
I'll sure miss the Overcast. It is a superb show that not only does excellent work in its domain but also has been delightfully playful, exploring the art of podcasting.
Though less explicit, I believe the great work you are doing in machinima (especially lately) is itself wonderful advocacy for the medium - you inspire by example.
Couldn't bear to lose your commentary altogether, though, so please keep blogging!
--Anthony.
Hey, thanx for all the hard work you've put in. It was partly because of you I got into Machinima. I'll continue to follow your web presence. Let me know if you ever need a hand with previz for your next project. Kind regards Tony Bannan - AMMOPREVIZ
Phil, you have contributed to this community greatly and I don't think anyone will be able to fill the gap. But, I wish you the best. The MachinExpo was the funnest time I've had since I jumped into this community, and it will be sad to see it go.
Also, expect an e-mail.
Phil:
Thanks for a great run. I like Nahton have enjoyed many outdoor activities while listening to the Overcast. My dog has had many an extended walk, much to his delight, as I laughed through your broadcasts or stopped and rewound so I get get that little detail of how you figured out some machinima technique. Your experience has meant more to me than just technical detail, it has helped inspire and drive my dissertation.
Thanks again - you, and your family, deserve a break. You have served the machinima community immeasurably.
Take care and have fun: writing, directing, modeling, coding, shooting, and editing all those great films waiting to be released.
Cheers
Curtis
Wow! Trot off on a little road trip and the whole internets as you know it changes!
I can't express how much I've appreciated everything you've done for Machinima (and myself) Phil. Not only do I wish you the best of everything... well, I think the 30 odd commenter's above put it in words better than I can! :O
This sounds like a sensible decision. I've been realy impressed with all of your machinima that I have seen, and agree that concentrating on the creative stuff should be the priority.
That said, it is obvious that the Overcast involved quite a lot of creativity, and wouldnt be the same were anyone else doing it, so thanks for creating it for so long.
It's amazing that you were able to put the podcasts on for so long. I can't even recall the name of the podcast you were doing before the Overcast, but I've been listening in since the start of that one. They've been educational, entertaining, and motivating. I expect you'll do an occasional audio show some time in the future, since your creative interests will probably demand it, but it's your films that most amaze me. They're not just good, they seem to take the medium to new dimensions. Podcast or film doesn't really matter. The storyteller goes on!